growing old with you
there's one thing that's constantly ongoing. it has been termed as a hundred different things.. put to blame on a hundred others. and mistaken for another hundred others.
what i mean is change.
there is nothing constant in life except change.
with changes.... one grows...and this is my subject of discussion in this blog.
growing old.
i look around me and i see aging people. true, everyone is aging...but these people are aging past their prime of their lives. going into the golden eras. these people are the ones i hold dearest to me. the ones who have stuck by me through all the changes in my life so far and the rest of it to come.
my parents, grandmother and uncle and grandaunt including the rest of my relatives. these are my
family. a fact that can never be changed, erased or forgotten.
now, at times when i glimpse at them and realise with a start, just how old they are. it grips my heart and never fails to startle me.. like a ghost suddenly popping out in a horror movie.
the age evident in their features...
and i get washed over by a torment of emotions.
i might lose these people, my family any time in my life. and it so happens that i'm losing them a little every day.
this helpless unfamilar feeling washes over me...each tide gnawing at me like a fresh wound.
it's at times like these, that words do no justice to the feelings inside.
that no matter how much you try, you can never describe how you are actually feeling inside. the desperation, the ache.. the bittersweet tuggings. the dilemna in choosing how to continue spending the rest of live. to love or to move on.
and then this leads to the life i'm leading now. the stages..
it's at this juncture that i hope to find a guy whom i love and who loves me in return to spend the rest of my natural life with.
true. it might seem too early to make such a important decision. but isn't it better to live life being loved longer than to spend precious time doing other less unimportant things?
oh no. i'm listenting to the elphant medley now. so into the love love thingy. (from moulin rouge)
hahah. guess...the mood is disrupted. i'm done here.
tInkerdOll
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
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