space invaders
after toiling for what seemed like an eternity. the madness has pulled short and retreated into the back end leaving in its path... the space between.
this year has taught me to value the essence of time and how one moment can have the effect of a lifetime. altering change as they call it. who they are in particular, i know not. but hell, this is just a figure of speech.
i feel myself retreating further into reclusion today more so than ever. the different fronts i put up for the various people i socialise with. which brings me to the point of who i am within. the age old question, a confusion in so many ways caught up with cliches aplenty.
i wrote this entry so long back when we had a miserably break from the mad haze of projects day after day. but i didn't know how to continue because i felt so lost then. which isn't very different from what i am feeling now. but besides that, i am also in a desperate need to sort out my thoughts.
after a day of spacing and immense frustration.
i pinpointed it down to a withdrawal of projects which relates to a sudden lack of good company albeit some tiffs and much teasing (mostly at my expense =x). but those moments were enjoyable and definitely hugely missed explaining the void now.
another would be missing a much needed break at the sunny beach with great pals. volleyballing and just staring out into the immense sea, hearing the waves hit the shore and the salty sensations along with it.
most importantly, it was waking up without a direction or the familarities that i had grown accustomed to.
my family was the saving grace but even so, i behaved like a grouch. not being rude or anything along those lines. just silent sullen and sulky. the three Ss.
my laptop too made a disappearing act which only served to deepen the hollow. thus leaving me to fish for security and a safety net in the comforts of tvee...
the shows left much to be desired
and so here i am. butchering my keyboard as i vent my frustrations and hope for a much better day tomorrow.
with this i conclude: to have events planned up in a day is much better than being harboured at home. especially when you had 12 hours of glorious sleep. it'll come back to haunt you. piglism is evil....
notice how live is spelt evil backwards. some sort of sign? or a mere coincidence. how about just a cruel joke from the creators of language. not like it isn't mocking us everyday.
a contradiction by itself. this that helps us communicate.
tInkerdOll
Monday, March 07, 2005
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