life actually ./?/!

I have been spending these last few days thinking over the various junctures of my life. Although if you have to ask, there has not been much progress and nor am I going to admit about the stalemate I am in.

Evaluations, revelations and basically just being completely lost.

I suppose, I have never encountered before a point in my life, where I was given total freedom to make a choice, to be the master of my life as it is. Thus, when it is presented to me now, raw and right smack in your face. The emotions rankled are baffling and highly mysterious.

If I was given a chance to describe my life thus far. I would use the word, stages or rather phrases. It has always been in this phrase or that, mostly short term committments and attention spans.

It's funny and pretty ironic that even after so many years of expressing my thoughts on such a public platform, I never actually reveiled much on a deeper basis.

Somewhere along my phrases, I have taught myself a defence mechanism of keeping emotions under close wraps. Perhaps, I am a closet perfectionist. Perhaps, that cheery girl you see beaming. Or, perhaps that brooding budding lady at a corner. Perhaps uh. What I can safely say is that, second guesses are welcome and that possibly I'm just all that and more.

My goal in life is straightforward. To seek happiness through simple and balanced means.

But very often, complications develop and our plans get mislaid. Afterall, everything begins with a step. What they forgot to emphasize on was the direction.